Please, if you happen to be reading this article, intentionally or accidentally, please know that God has something to say to you. Please give your heart for the next few minutes.

Father’s Day is always a special time of the year to celebrate the important men in our lives. For Christians, we not only honour dad, but also express our appreciation to them as the fathers God gave to us. We put aside all distractions by spending quality time together: dinner outside, attending church, or even simple gatherings at home. Some include prayers for their fathers. 

And certainly, it is the day when we usually humbly serve our fathers more, which is a great way to honour and love them. But my focus is not on the family’s celebration of our fathers, it is on the fathers. Mothers or children, please also continue reading the article, and hopefully at the end you will understand why.

Fathers, what’s on your mind this Father’s Day?

Please, I want to start by asking this question, “Who are we, fathers? Really, who are we?” Paul wrote, “God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So, you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir” (Galatians 4:6-7). 

Though on earth we are fathers to our children, in Christ we are God’s children. But then, who are our children? Solomon said, “Behold, children are a heritage of the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward” (Psalms 127:3). 

Heritage also means inheritance. When a father hands down inheritance to the children, it often comes with instructions on how to take care of it. 

Both Christian and non-Christian fathers must experience challenges such as financial responsibility, work-life balance, marriage, and parenting. I am certainly one of them, being a father of two teenagers. 

With the speed of the world and our busyness, we are even confused as to what instructions we must apply to be a good father. 

Plus, when it comes to “good,” what is “good”? 

For Christian fathers, since we know our children are God’s very own precious inheritance handed down to us, let us learn from the Word of God how we ought to raise our children.

At this opportunity, among a lot of instructions in the Scripture, we will learn from Moses’ words to the Israelites before entering Canaan, the promised land. Through Moses, God gave this message so that God’s people could live differently among the people with other gods so that God’s glory could be reflected by their lives. It certainly relates to us, fathers, who live in the midst of worldly ways. 

Moses said, “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart” (Deuteronomy 6:4-6). 

The foundation of everything fathers need to hold on in life is to know God. The only way we can know God is as He speaks through Scripture. Yes, it starts with God’s love to us, but as we come to know God more, our love for Him surely escalates. We are to love God with the whole of ourselves: heart, soul and might or strength. Wait! How can we know whether we love Him? Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). Our obedience to the Word of God reflects what is in our heart and how much we really love God. 

So, fathers, please answer this in your heart! Do you know God? Do you love God? Do you obey God’s Word?

Moses continued, “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up” (Deuteronomy 6:7). 

Fathers, only if we have a close relationship with God by knowing, loving and obeying Him, can we then apply Moses’ instructions for the fathers. There are two sides here. 

First, the teaching side. This is the committed and allocated time for fathers to teach the Word of God consistently to their children. 

Second is the living side: the talk when we sit, walk, lie down and rise up. It is whether we walk-the-talk that we teach to our children. It is so hard for children to remember what we teach them, but it is so easy for children to copy what we do. 

Fathers, please trust me on this, the teaching side is the easier one because often it only demands a few minutes or hours weekly. Yet, the living side, it is everything we do in life, the whole of our lives. Only by living the teaching can we help our children to see the Father in heaven. 

The worst is when we become hypocrites to our children which might hinder our children from knowing God. Fathers, please do not fake it – sooner or later our children will know. 

After the death of Joshua, Moses’ successor in leading the Israelites to enter Canaan, another generation, who did not know the Lord nor His works, abandoned the Lord by doing evil to the Lord and by serving other gods. They eventually were terribly in trouble because the anger of the Lord was against them. (Judges 2:10-15).

So again, fathers, please speak to yourselves: know God, love God, obey God, and teach your children. Where are you in teaching the Word of God to your children?

Please include your wife! What?! Why suddenly do I say this? 

Fathering is hard. God gave Eve to Adam. God gives our wives to help. Apostle Peter said, “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honour to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). 

Fathers, listen to what Peter’s saying: serve your wife, love your wife, support your wife, help your wife, acknowledge your wife, include your wife, and keep your wife always in your heart and mind. You and your wife are one. Raise your children together with your wife as one.

Please allow me to also share one thing I do in response to the above message. I call it “a spiritual coin.” The two sides of the coin are listening and speaking (see the BIC article, https://www.bethanymelb.org.au/article/?article-i d=1935). James said, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak” (James 1:19). 

The first place we can apply this is in building our relationship with God. We listen to Him as we read God’s Word, we speak to Him through prayers, and with the almighty help of the Holy Spirit, we may know, love and obey God more. 

The second place we use the coin is when we teach our children. To love is to listen. In her book, Spiritual Conversations with Children, Dr. Lacy Borgo from Portland Seminary says, “when children have a listening companion who hears, acknowledges, and encourages their early experiences with God, it creates a spiritual footprint that shapes their lives.” 

Our children want to be heard; we must be fully present and attentive so that they experience the benefit of the fathers’ teaching. I notice that the more I listen, the less I must speak for them to listen to me. Fathers, please give this spiritual coin a try.

So lastly, fathers, how are you feeling? Hopeless or joyful?

The Word of God is the only way you can know God. It is not my intention at all to scare you, but to convince you that there is no other way than the Bible to father your children. 

I’d like to close this article by first inviting non-Christian fathers: Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6). Please give up your worldly ways, turn yourself to Christ, believe in Christ, and come to the Father. 

Second, allow me to provoke you who are casual Christians: repent,and turn back to Christ faithfully. 

Finally, committed Christian fathers, remember what Jesus said to the disciples, “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth… he dwells with you and will be in you… I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you” (John 14: 15, 16, 20). 

Do you know that the Father is in Jesus, Jesus in you, you in Jesus, and the Holy Spirit dwells in you? I truly pray for you to understand it, and know that it is no more us fathering our children, but it is Him, our Father in heaven, who fathers our children through us. Fathers, be joyful!

Now, remember when I said in the beginning to mothers and children to keep reading this article?

Mothers, be with us; we need you; let us raise our children together! Children, please pray for us!

Fathers, on this Father’s Day, please come to Him; learn from Him; and may His grace enable us to lead our family in joining Joshua in saying, “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15), and brings glory to God, our Father in heaven. Amen. 

Suggestions for further resources:

1. Ps. Daniel Prajogo’s 2024 Father’s Day sermon at Bethany International Church (https://youtu.be/D91WOGU_6vQ?si=JosHexfHY4pgEGb6)
2. Lacy Finn Borgo, Spiritual Conversations with Children